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whenever I get sad, I just think about dan from florida
*gets a dog and names it Dad* *it runs away* not again
the best thing about disney songs is singing every character’s part in them with your best impression of their voice
#I’M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH #saygoodbyetothosewhoknewme #boY was I a FOOL in SCHOOL forr cutting GYMMMMMM #thIS guy’s got ‘em scared to DEATH!#HOPE HEDOESN’T SEE RIGHT THROUGHME #now I really wish that I knew how to SWIMMMMM
BE UH MAN
the best thing about being single is sleeping around. you can sleep all over that big lonely bed of yours. left, right, middle, wherever.
being human is cool but if i was reincarnated as a bunny i would not complain at all
my ad for beauty products
girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face
old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country
girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you
ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND BEING CONDESCENDED TO
You wanna know what gets me off? What really turns me on? Writing an essay without changing the default size 11 Calibri font with no line spacing, and then changing it to size 12 Times New Roman with double spacing and seeing it grow from 3 to 5 pages. Yeah, that really gets me going.
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